Jared is Superjail's accountant, and keeps the books straight at Superjail. Although accounting is his area of expertise, he unwillingly often attends to the Warden's schemes. He was an immate in Superjail until the Warden offered him to work for him in exchange to avoid his sentence.

He seems to have issues with depression since the last fifteen years, which he himself said in Don't Be A Negaton. Jared has been apparently addicted to every possible addiction that exist according to the creators of the show. According to the books he has read (presumably about his depression or his situation), he craves the abuse.

He is extremely adept at performing magic, having practiced since he went sober.

Jared is voiced by Teddy Cohn.


Because Jared has a very prim, proper and orderly personality, he clashes with the Warden. However, the Warden completely dominates Jared, abusing him in almost every sense of the word (with the exception of sexually). As a result, he seems to be stressing over something almost every minute, and seems to have very low self-esteem. He teeters on the brink of insanity, which can often be viewed through vivid hallucinations that display sweet snacks and potables (or alcoholic beverages) displaying anthropomorphic characteristics. No matter how much The Warden abuses him, Jared wants to think of him as his best friend. Although in Season 2, Episode 3, Lord Stingray Crash Party, The Warden states,"...and a man of my position doesn't have any friends."

Addict ProblemsEdit

Throughout the series, Jared appears to be a recovering addict from pretty much everything

  1. Alcohol
  2. Tobacco/Smoking
  3. Sweets
  4. Fast Food
  5. Gambling
  6. Sex
  7. Abuse
  8. Peer pressure

Relation to Other CharactersEdit

The Warden - Jared looks up to The Warden, despite the way The Warden treats him. Often he is worried that the Warden will cook up another terrible idea and invariably get hurt. In the episode 'The Dream Machine', Jared dreams that Jared takes the place of the Warden, with the Warden taking the role of Jared. In this bizarre dream, The Warden/Jared and Jared/The Warden make out.

Alice - Alice and Jared get along well, and sometimes participates in his schemes. For the most part they have a strictly work relationship though.

Jailbot - They seem to get along, but only because he serves the Warden.

The Twins - He doesn't like the Twins for their interference, because it always leads to screwing up whatever anyone plans.

Sharice - There seems to be a loving friendship that formed between the two as they seem to care about each other a lot, and have almost identical personalities.


  • Jared is Left-handed.